My Dear Three Sons:
Happy Valentine’s Day.
As babies, to see one of you, was to see all three of you, since you looked so much alike. So, I only need the one picture above. Guess which one of you it is?
I am so thankful that God designed this amazing process, whereby two people who are in love can in engage in the most gratifying and fun experience, called SEX, and create another human being in their image. You three boys were love babies, and because all three of you were so beautiful, the thought that you were in our likeness was overwhelming for dad and me. It was then that I, truly, accepted that God loved me. He had to if he allowed you three to come through me.
Your father didn’t move from my side after the first birth. He sat gazing into our new baby’s eyes for 24 hours. We were both in disbelief that we could create such a beautiful human being. And then we got to see God repeat his miraculous process two more times. But, instead of gazing after each birth, dad begin to snatch you from me. I believe to make sure that I didn’t get a longer bonding time than he did. And his plan worked: You three love your father so much.
So…my dear sons always remember that LOVE HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH LIFE! Although it’s not talked about on CNN or MSNBC nor is it the guiding principle on Facebook or Twitter, or in business, it is the sustaining life force and the most powerful energy in the world.
When you find that you can’t love, go to my favorite scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
This scripture guides me when I become impatient and mean and bothered by my own insufficiencies or the insufficiencies of others. I repeat to myself that love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy or boast. To be happy is to be content whether you have a lot or you have a little. Because the greatest things in life can’t be bought or measured. It’s the air we breathe, and the sunset that rises, and the moon that sets, and the flowers that bloom in a trillion different colors so…there’s nothing to boast about unless you’re boasting about these kinds of things. When I remember this, no matter how I look at my life, it has been blessed beyond measure. Years and years of sunrises. When great accomplishments happen, I always remember that those things are gifts to be shared, in one form or fashion, with others, but not bragged upon because Love does not boast.
it is not arrogant or rude: When I catch myself being rude and arrogant, I realize it’s the little Meme, feeling insecure, putting on airs to make myself feel bigger. Likewise, I immediately know that I’m in the midst of strangers when a person puts on airs and starts bragging about what they’ve done in life or what they have. When they’re not concerned about my feelings and are rude and abrupt, I understand that they don’t have love to give, for whatever reason, and it’s not a reflection on me. There’s no need of feeling hurt when this occurs, although we’re all human. I feel the disappointment, then accept the loveless moment and go on about my way and that’s what you should do.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. I’ve read this over and over again to stay positive because you, boys, know your father and I are as different as night and day. If I say the sky is clear and blue, your father sees clouds. But once I realized that I could see blue skies and he could see clouds and we could co-exist, peacefully, I stopped insisting on my way and stopped resenting him for not seeing what I saw.
It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth: Always be open to being corrected. Accept that you’re human and will make mistakes. Be willing to change your course. Don’t be obstinate. Be happy to say the three magical words, I am sorry.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. Daddy and I have celebrated so many Valentine’s together because of this part of the scripture. Anytime our marriage became difficult because of inability to communicate, or lack of trust, or failure to agree on a course of action, I went to this scripture. I walked slowly down the aisle to meet your tall, handsome daddy to Endless Love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM_R1R28kLM by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. It was sung Acapella, with the sun setting behind the singer’s back.
But just like the life we were about to embark upon, it was an imperfect day. Nothing worked as planned. We awoke to balls of hail falling out of the sky, the size of a baseballs. There was lightning and thunder. Although it was August and we were in Los Angeles, it stormed like I’ve never seen before. But, luckily, the wedding was not until 6 p.m. so by the time I walked down the aisle, it was a perfect 85 degrees with crystal clear, blue skies.
Love never ends. In the picture at the bottom are your Nanny (my Mom) and Bigmama (my grandmother). They’re both gone to the other side, but their love sustains me because love never ends. Watching them live, helped me to understand that there are always ups and downs in life, and all one can do in those time, is count on God’s grace to get you through. So, boys when life gets tough, hold on, surrender, and know that grace will carry you through. And eventually you’ll feel the love once again, and you’ll realize that the music is the way it’s suppose to be. Our wedding song was sang Acapella because the organist didn’t show up. After my furor and shouting spell, I listened and realized that Acapella was just perfect for our special moment.
Happy Valentine’s Day